GKRF Restaurant Review Parody

I went to a dairy restaurant last night. It was in a place I wasn’t familiar with, so I blindly posted asking for suggestions instead of searching the group on my own. I’ve never had a worse experience.

First, I asked what they had other than pizza because my kids wanted pasta. They said that they had to choose between carrying pasta or sushi and obviously chose sushi. I ordered some sushi (which ended up being quite small) and asked for extra spicy mayo.

With no pasta, my kids were forced to stick to eating fries because I’ve been unable to teach them to have a balanced diet or eat more than three total food items. When we got the fries, they were obviously those frozen crinkle fries and even though my kids were happy, I was annoyed by the menu price.

I noticed that they had pizza bagels on the menu. They also had tuna on the sushi menu. I asked if they could make one of my kids a scooped out, toasted tuna bagel. They said yes, but it would be $27.50. I agreed because I was a captive audience.

We ordered a pizza with mushrooms and we could tell that they’d used canned mushrooms. Also, after inspection with my tape measure, the pizza was much smaller than it was supposed to be.

We ended up taking the food to go because when we got there none of the people behind the counter were wearing masks correctly. Though the counter was in Brooklyn, so that was kinda expected. The seating area was in Long Island, but even though seating was legal, the place was packed with no distancing. I checked outside for the added seating and it was just a building with four walls and a roof. My family believes in facts, science, and not contributing to the spread of a deadly global pandemic, so we didn’t feel comfortable staying. Obviously we shouldn’t assume we can eat out these days if we aren’t comfortable with places breaking the law. I didn’t report the place, because I care more about people misapplying the definition of moser than I do about dina d’machulta dina and pekuach nefesh. We had wanted to eat at the restaurant because the National Championship Game was on and we wanted to watch it while eating. We heard the restaurant had a TV, which I noticed was off. When asked, they said that the local Vaad told them they couldn’t use it.

When the food was ready, I went to pay and saw that they’d charged me extra for the spicy mayo. That was the final straw for me.I made an angry face, said nothing because I didn’t think it would help, left, and now I’m posting here right now. There are no pictures of the food because we ate it and forgot.

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